Post by a butt lol on Mar 13, 2006 13:52:52 GMT -5
i walked out of my diffeq class today with nary a care in the world. the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, young men's thoughts were turning to love, and my friend and i traveled to the post office. i had my newly-painted maverick in my backpack, ready for the day's activities. the trip to the post office was uneventful, and so i continued my trek to riggs so that i could sleep through my next class. i was there about 10 minutes early, so i stood with my back to a corner and waited for class to start. some people were standing suspiciously close to me, but i didn't notice anything unusual. soon my assassin, whose name i will be good enough to keep secret, stood next to me. "not out yet?" "no," i replied, and he pulled his weapon from under the coat draped over his arm.
recognizing the threat, i sprinted off to my left. he took chase, and he was fast - much faster than i was. i deftly unzipped my bookbag, unfurled my maverick, and left my bag on the ground all in one movement while still not losing my step - a move i had practiced in the confines of my apartment hundreds of times. my would-be killer was quickly gaining ground, so i planted my foot on the wall, took a couple of steps on it, and backflipped over his head. awestruck, he dropped to his knees. i held my weapon to his forehead and squinted my eyes like dirty harry. to my surprise, he unleashed a well-placed roundhouse kick and i fell to my back. i quickly threw myself back on my feet and dove out a nearby window. my assassin fired his gun, and i watched with horror as the tiny foam bullet sprouted fins and a rocket propulsion device. i knew i was beaten, but still i ran.
i ducked behind a tree, but the foam-encapsulated death burrowed through the tree and began its chase anew. i fired my weapon at it, but each dart missed its mark. i lay by the foot of the tree, trembling and watching the dart fly toward my forehead, but suddenly out of nowhere hulk hogan dove in front of me and took the shot in the chest. i could hardly believe it - hulk hogan, last and best hope for goodness in this god-forsaken world, had come to my aid! i knew this was a sign from above, and so i headed back to riggs to face my killer. "nice try," i said with a hearty laugh, "but today it appears that i am the better man." he smiled and agreed, and i felt a dull thump in my chest. warm liquid ran down the inside of my shirt, and i looked with horror at the red stain spreading over my "don't mess with tetris" t-shirt. my hands now stained with blood, i looked up with horror into the eyes of a man who had never felt emotion in his life. the coldness, the emptiness were all i saw as my knees dropped to the floor. my world went black, and i drifted toward the light.
recognizing the threat, i sprinted off to my left. he took chase, and he was fast - much faster than i was. i deftly unzipped my bookbag, unfurled my maverick, and left my bag on the ground all in one movement while still not losing my step - a move i had practiced in the confines of my apartment hundreds of times. my would-be killer was quickly gaining ground, so i planted my foot on the wall, took a couple of steps on it, and backflipped over his head. awestruck, he dropped to his knees. i held my weapon to his forehead and squinted my eyes like dirty harry. to my surprise, he unleashed a well-placed roundhouse kick and i fell to my back. i quickly threw myself back on my feet and dove out a nearby window. my assassin fired his gun, and i watched with horror as the tiny foam bullet sprouted fins and a rocket propulsion device. i knew i was beaten, but still i ran.
i ducked behind a tree, but the foam-encapsulated death burrowed through the tree and began its chase anew. i fired my weapon at it, but each dart missed its mark. i lay by the foot of the tree, trembling and watching the dart fly toward my forehead, but suddenly out of nowhere hulk hogan dove in front of me and took the shot in the chest. i could hardly believe it - hulk hogan, last and best hope for goodness in this god-forsaken world, had come to my aid! i knew this was a sign from above, and so i headed back to riggs to face my killer. "nice try," i said with a hearty laugh, "but today it appears that i am the better man." he smiled and agreed, and i felt a dull thump in my chest. warm liquid ran down the inside of my shirt, and i looked with horror at the red stain spreading over my "don't mess with tetris" t-shirt. my hands now stained with blood, i looked up with horror into the eyes of a man who had never felt emotion in his life. the coldness, the emptiness were all i saw as my knees dropped to the floor. my world went black, and i drifted toward the light.
